


Spiders

by commanderwoobie



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Fluffy, Halloween, M/M, Pre-Series, and Cuteness, and a witch ;D, and spiders, well one spider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 02:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderwoobie/pseuds/commanderwoobie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lister convinces Rimmer to come with him to the little haunted house Hollister approved.  Rimmer doesn't fare too well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> true, Rimmer's fear isn't canon but it isn't not canon either. and i wanted halloween fluff.
> 
> edit: IT IS CANON. SORTA. AT LEAST IN THE SENSE OF TARANTULAS CRAWLING UP HIS LEG. many thanks to Saylee for reminding me~

Why had he agreed to this? This was the stupidest idea he had ever had the misfortune to entertain. Rimmer was a coward. Certifiable. Look up “coward” in the dictionary, and there’d be a full body Technicolor picture of Arnie J. Rimmer knew this. Rimmer was okay with this. Someone had to play the coward and Rimmer embraced it.

_So why on Io was he doing this?!_

But he was doing it. Ooooooh, was he doing it. “It” being going to the little haunted house Hollister had sanctioned. Space got boring and people liked Halloween and people liked scaring people who liked getting scared. Rimmer was not one of these people. But Lister had talked him into it. Peterson, Chen, and Selby had already gone through (and Kochanski was actually working in it so he couldn’t go with her.) thus leaving Rimmer as his only option.

The second technician eyed the haunted house dubiously, pointedly ignoring the scouser beside him. Lister was excited. The man was exuding excitement. The contagious kind of excitement that Rimmer refused to catch. Because he really didn’t want to do this.

One of the cargo bays had been converted into a temporary scare attraction, and if the gossip was to be believed, they had done a damn fine job of it. Rimmer jumped when Lister smacked his arm to get his attention, and the darker male jerked his head in the direction of a group coming out of the bay. They were shaken, but grinning, talking animatedly. Rimmer sneered and shook his head.

“Come _on_ ,” man! It’ll be fun!” Lister’s smile turned conspiratorial. “I’ll even hold yer hand.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” Rimmer spluttered, face flushed, as Lister laughed and sauntered ahead of Rimmer towards the entrance. Rimmer let out a small whimper before half jogging up behind Lister, following him into the dark. Lister strode confidently ahead while Rimmer hunched in on himself slightly, eyes wide as he tried to see everything in the near pitch dark. It started with the usual scares: people jumping out, screaming, hitting things. Lister jerked to a stop a few times, Rimmer made little whimpery noises that got louder as they progressed.

“Hello, Arrrrrnold,” cooed a witch with too long nails and stringy hair when they turned a corner. She got closer to him and Rimmer tried to sidle past her without touching her. He shot a panicked look at Lister, but he had already gone ahead, the witch having entered the scene after he was already half way through. Rimmer panted out a pained whine and she took a small step back to allow him to pass and Rimmer bolted. His heart was pounding, blood pulsing almost painfully through his veins, as he caught up to Lister. But he came enough to his senses to not reach out and grab the other man. He’d never live it down.

“You okay, Rimsy?” Lister asked over his shoulder, pausing a moment to peek around another corner.

“Fine,” Rimmer squeaked out. He heard Lister laugh softly but was in no position to do anything about it. They kept walking, both yelping when a hand shot out a hole in the wall, and went through a door into a room, squinting against the sudden light. They heard some skittering and a large (as in the size of a medium sized dog) spider dropped from the ceiling, vicious ooze dripping from its fangs.

And that’s when Rimmer lost it.

Lister yelped when his bicep was held in a death grip and Rimmer’s other arm latched around his chest like a vice. The taller man buried his face in the side of Lister’s neck. “Lister get me out of here please just get me out of here I don’t care just get me out of here” tumbled from his mouth. He felt Lister’s hand cover his—the one with the death grip—and heard “Hey, Arn, it’s okay. It was just a hologram.” But when Rimmer did nothing but whimper and shake, Lister added “All right, let’s find the way out. Shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Rimmer had no idea how much longer it was because all he saw for the rest of the house was the inside of his eyelids. Of course, he heard everything and every scream made him tighten his hold on Lister, but somehow they made it out and Rimmer was able to let go. They stood alone in the small sea of people for a long moment, Lister looking at Rimmer, Rimmer looking at everything else.

“I’m sorry,” Lister finally said. “If I’d known….”

“I was…okay until the spider.”

The scouser was quiet for another long moment. “Yer brothers?”

Rimmer nodded and he heard Lister sigh.

“How about this: We go back home, eat some popcorn, drink a lager, watch some stupid comedy, and forget all about this. Yeah?”

Rimmer thought it over and nodded. “But I want tea.”

“Deal.”

And that was what they did, except Rimmer added the demand Lister stay in the bunk with him.


End file.
